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Presently feel as if I am becoming a Recluse. A recluse maybe or may not be for good, i don't know. Its like I am walking on a road unknown, onto a path to which is like never ending i guess. No direction No way.. feel astray...! Its like I am doing things against my will, or may be my sub conscious is constantly stopping me from doing things I am doing. I feel like I am in a complete maze with no exit door. filled up to the brim with negativity and still feel can adjust a bit more within myself! waaoww... after writing a paragraph full of shitty emotions I am realizing the fact that I wrote crap!! Serious crap!
So this is how I do introspection i guess. Writing makes me know myself much better! Now all I need is to know myself a bit more well. I probably need to find a solution to my ever wandering emotions. It starts from finding the reason behind feeling the way I am feeling right now?!!? WHY...?? The question still stands straight... why oh why?
#most probable reasons:-
* i trying to be positive way beyond it is needed to be!
* i am pretending to know myself more than i actually do!
* i am caring too much about things n people!
* i am just too impossible to understand!
* i have emotions difficult to interpret!
* i am choosing to be this way!
* i am not in spirit...
OK.. maybe i really need to brainstorm a bit!
i'll be back once i find a profound and satisfactory answer!!


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A little boy sitting alone
I saw him from distant far
He was almost on my own
I wondered who left him distant far?
He was crying I could make out
Wiping his tears he walked straight
In the middle of the road, I wanted to shout
Lost and weird on the way that was laid.
Hey stop! I shouted thrice
'Don't walk in the middle of the road'
I was chanting the sane advice
He ignored and walked as if releasing some load...
I ran and reached him somehow
I finally brought him to the stopping mode
I looked in his eyes and I saw pain
I could sense as his soul began to corrode
He was a little boy and I hope he is fine
He was a little boy I wish I could understand
He was a little boy and he is somewhere
He was a little boy on the distant land!

A Story

The time thus stopped, still
Between then and the now,
Then was forever beautiful
Now is undulating but infernal.

Forever is hence a myth,
Tied between the bygone
And the moments yet to come
Stuck, unmoving and dead.

The rise of an era, indeed
Was not a beginning either,
It was called upon by turmoil
And the sacrifices of all.

Them all, gave up all they could
Left behind what they had,
They managed to flee, evacuate
But couldn't untie the chain.

The chain that was tied
So fast around their souls,
Choked, breathless, unmoved.
They cried, longed, lamented.

The emotions they were bound to
Took a toll on them once again,
The empire did rise again,
Them, all, remained the same!


Well, that ache in the center that apparently has no definite cause or maybe the reasons are too insignificant to be named the ultimate thing; there’s a root cause. It’s mere mind’s play, to decide, to let go and definitely to keep holding on…forever? Maybe, if it existed.
But that ache that is indifferent, an ache that feels new every-time, an ache that we’ve befriended like no other, an ache that is acknowledged and welcomed with smile driven tears, an ache that is nostalgic of moments that were mere memoirs of the bygone days, an ache that we never saw coming, an ache that was an escape once from the reality we never faced, an ache which has now become a necessity, an ache that is a part of you?

An ache,,, A beautiful one!