Oh I lost it. I lost that thought which came amidst chaotic calmness. I related to it as a mermaid's lost song, oh how happy I felt to have thought of it in the first place. I remember the tune, it still rings in my deaf lobes. Do re mi fa.... The words, those words are lost in the dictionary. A dictionary to those words that existed for the briefest of moments and like smoke extinguished without even a slight trace of existence. I sat down and tried to relive those moments that led me to the no-land. But alas, the castle was burned down and I sipped the thought of extinction. I sat there staring at stars which were hidden inside the blanket of clouds but they did exist. Just like those lost thoughts that do exist but are indeed covered., yet to be found. I thought of him yet again. I dreamt of the starry night too. I wondered if that character I once read about that made me fall in love with myself was him? I thought of us. A fading silhouette of him. I felt that separation even though I never met him in the first place. I waited as the thoughts sank deep in my wandering mind. Pinned myself like a dead butterfly behind the glass shield.., numb soul-less and everything in between!
Its miserable me, for right now I feel miserable. I know how to come out of it, not actually come out of it but run away from it. But i do not want to run away, rather face it and find a way out. But right now its miserable me... Waking up in the morning, with thousand unsaid questions with sorrows pale and ochre with emotions hard to feel and there is a pain in the center. With crippled and tormented soul with sorrows hard to explain with pain demanding to be felt with millions of names in the mind and I am not able to utter a single one. With mind lost and wandering with eyes full of shattered dreams with many things left undone with beautiful words left unsaid and there I stand self-abandoned. With the pain of separation with the hope of soon revival with hands folded in prayer with eyes closed, wishing that wish and there I am-MISERABLE ME!
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