Skip to main content

RECLUSION

Presently feel as if I am becoming a Recluse. A recluse maybe or may not be for good, i don't know. Its like I am walking on a road unknown, onto a path to which is like never ending i guess. No direction No way.. feel astray...! Its like I am doing things against my will, or may be my sub conscious is constantly stopping me from doing things I am doing. I feel like I am in a complete maze with no exit door. filled up to the brim with negativity and still feel can adjust a bit more within myself! waaoww... after writing a paragraph full of shitty emotions I am realizing the fact that I wrote crap!! Serious crap!
So this is how I do introspection i guess. Writing makes me know myself much better! Now all I need is to know myself a bit more well. I probably need to find a solution to my ever wandering emotions. It starts from finding the reason behind feeling the way I am feeling right now?!!? WHY...?? The question still stands straight... why oh why?
#most probable reasons:-
* i trying to be positive way beyond it is needed to be!
* i am pretending to know myself more than i actually do!
* i am caring too much about things n people!
* i am just too impossible to understand!
* i have emotions difficult to interpret!
* i am choosing to be this way!
* i am not in spirit...
OK.. maybe i really need to brainstorm a bit!
i'll be back once i find a profound and satisfactory answer!!


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Just a Goodbye

Goodnight-s are bad And shall AlWAYS be, But wishing you a wish, Is a wish. And, Shall AlWAYS be! I thought about it and I'm still caught in it. Of how each goodnight whispered to me an echo that my heart acknowledged as a goodbye. Of all the goodbye's ever heard, none could be at par like that midnight goodnight as it flashed my screen. I sensed an ending that wasn't an end. A loss that happened twice. Of wishes that never came with a guarantee. What if, it was already the last of your share whilst you thought of the last one to be even more piercing. You swallow that pain of the imposed last and thank your stars for not making you wait. For what was never yours for the world but indeed your little world which collapsed right then with that goodnight. A night which apparently was never good, those moments that still ache  and long for the night to be good again. And that whisper to be echoed yet again. That pain you're still ready to feel again,, to see that 'goo...
Post a Comment
Read more

Living with a lie...

"Life is perfect. Everything around is so magical. Dreams are easy to achieve and relationships are easy to handle." OK OK... No more lies. But just imagine how easy life would be if we start 'believing' in what we actually manifest in our lives. (How contradictory is the fact that the word 'beLIEving' itself has a 'LIE' in it.) How wonderful it would be to start living a dream or a wish which is not yet a reality. Hmmmm... sounds interesting. For instance, it was just today that i so badly wanted to eat a dark chocolate.. yum-mm... i know but i didn't feel like going out in the blazing heat and buy one. I sat on my bed imagining myself eating a dark chocolate and with the watery mouth i got busy with the daily mundane work and somehow forgot. Not more than an hour, there was a knock at the door and it was my roomie, who was back from her weekend trip to some island. The story doesn't end in here, she handed me dark chocolate stating, i asked ...
Post a Comment
Read more

JUST A FALL

                                               It was just another day, I was on my own I got a call which was unknown The voice on the other end It’s familiar yet I am not sure It was my guide He said… Your creator is gone She is on her death bed And you need to be strong Yes, you need to be strong I was numb I was shocked Wondering what went wrong I was hollering I was scared This time not of the dark But of the darkness Which like a lark? Come, with her departure Who’s she? Who’s the “her” I am referring to? She is my origin She is my strength She is my caretaker My very essence. I was so unsure I felt so unsafe With thousands around There was only loneliness To which I was bound I like an orphan Staring at an distant tree With burden in my eyes Wishing… When would I be set free? I was not...
Post a Comment
Read more